Tips for a fuller life

This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received. Hope it works for you -- and me!
You have 6 minutes

There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not superstitious. This has been sent To you for good luck from the Anthony Robbins organization. It has been sent around the world ten times so Far.

Do not keep this message.

This must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES. Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson .
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.



Now, here's the FUN part!
Send this to at least 5 people and your life will improve. 1-4 people: Your life will improve slightly.
5-9 people: Your life will improve to your liking.
9-14 people: You will have at least 5 surprises in the next 3 weeks
15 and above: Your life will improve drastically and everything you ever dreamed of will begin to take shape.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

Do not keep this message

12 Ways to Know That You Love Someone

TWELVE:
You talk with him/her late at night and when you go to bed you still think of him/her.

ELEVEN:
You walk really slowly when you are with him/her.

TEN:
You don't feel Ok when he/she is far away...

NINE:
You smile when you hear his/her voice.

EIGHT:
When you look at him/her,you do not see other people around you. You see only him/her.

SIX:
He/She is everything you want to think.

FIVE:
You realise that you smile every time you look at him/her.

FOUR:
You would do anything to see him/her.

THREE:
While you have been reading this, there was a person in your mind all the time.

TWO:
You've been so busy thinking of that person that you didn't notice that number 7 is missing.

ONE:
You are going to check above if that's true and now you are silently laughing to yourself.

NOW MAKE A WISH! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT THE MOST.......


*****

ALMOST THERE!


Send this message to at least 12 friends like that: 12 WAYS TO KNOW THAT YOU LOVE SOMEONE

*And something good is going to happen tonight....

*If you don't do it...you will definitely regret it....

A Husband's Letter to His Wife & the Wife's Reply Regarding Their Sex Life

TO MY DEAR WIFE:
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be sleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore

12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:

6 times you just lay there
8 times you reminded me there ' s a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you moved

KEEP READING.......

============ ========= ========= ========= =========


TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:
I think you are a little confused. Here are the reasons why you didn ' t get more than you did:
5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn ' t cum
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching TV



Of the times we did get together:
The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.
I wasn ' t talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"
The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.


Once you read this letter you have to keep it going.
This game has been played since 1996. You must send this letter to 7 people.
On the 5th day someone will ask you out or say "I love you."

This is not a joke.
It has worked for many years. If you break the chain, you will have bad luck with guys/girls forever. This is just for future readers. This began in 1996, not much of a past, but it works.

So here are the rules:
If you read this on a Sunday, wish for a good week
If you read this on a Monday, wish for money
If you read this on a Tuesday, wish for love
If you read this on a Wednesday, wish for success
If you read this on a Thursday, wish for anything you want
If you read this on a Friday, wish for a really hot date
If you read this on a Saturday, wish for an important phone call

Send this to seven people (after you make a wish). Make sure it is sent as soon as you read it or your wish won ' t come true. And check!

Paano kaya kung may FACEBOOK na nung panahon ng KKK at Hen. AGUINALDO?

Lucky Man Marries Thai Twins!

Only in thailand

Lucky Man Marries Thai Twins!
(Translated from the Thai Rath Newspaper)

After Mr Wichai (Tao), aged 24, from Samut Songkram province, who earns his living by dealing in old goods, got married to gorgeous twins Ms Sirintara and Ms Thipawan 22, he vouched his sincerest 'equal love' for both of them!

Mr Wichai, just yesterday, got married in a grand ceremony to both twins simultaneously.

On being interviewed by Thai Rath reporters, Mr Wichai declared wholeheartedly that he didn't see much problem in having t o perform tiresome marital duties with two wives.

In the engagement ceremony before the wedding, Mr Wichai successfully offered a dowry of eight baht of gold and 80,000 baht EACH for his lovely darlings.

Both families celebrated the marriage with joy and were said to be delighted for the threesome.

Mr Wichai told the press that he had been best of friends with his neighbouring twins since they were children.

'When I grew older, I would walk past their house each morning and try to decide for myself which one I fancied more, but it was darn impossible - I adored BOTH of them - I just couldn't decide which one of them to chat up......!'
He went on to say, 'For three continuous years all three of us would go on dates together, until there was one day when I couldn't stand the frustration any longer and told them, 'I love you and want to marry you BOTH''
The fortunate Mr Wichai, instead of getting a slap in the face, was overjoyed when both girls admitted to having sworn all along that they wished to marry the same man!

'It wasn't easy at first, what with the neighbours gossiping, but our family sympathized, understood, and fully supported our mutual love for the one man' the twins said.

Mr Wichai arranged for his brides to live with him in his family house after the wedding, and his mother has already proudly prepared TWO rooms for the newly-weds.

Our reporters were just gagging to hear the response to this mouth-watering question:-
"And.... what are the sleeping arrangements Mr Wichai?", to which he replied modestly with a beaming smile.

'Absolutely no problems! For the first three nights of the week, I will sleep with Ms Thipawan and the next three will be spent with Ms Siri ntara. As for every Saturday, the three of us will sleep together'

Ms Sirintara finally told the press, 'When my twin and I worked as assistant nurses, we promised each other that we would never leave each other's side, and that our future husband would have to either take us both, or leave us.'

Unemployed graduate

An unemployed graduate woke up one morning and checked his pocket. All he had left was $10. He decided to use it to buy food and then wait for death as he was too proud to go begging. He was frustrated as he could find no job, and nobody was ready to help him.

He bought food and as he sat down to eat, an old man and two little children came along and asked him to help them with food as they had not eaten for almost a week. He looked at them. They were so lean that he could see their bones coming out. Their eyes had gone into the socket. With the last bit of compassion he had, he gave them the food. The old man and children prayed that God would bless and prosper him and then gave him a very old coin. The young graduate said to them 'you need the prayer more than I do'

With no money, no job, no food, the young graduate went under the bridge to rest and wait for death. As he was about to sleep, he saw an old newspaper on the ground.. He picked it up, and suddenly he saw an advertisement for people with old coins to come to a certain address.


He decided to go there with the old coin the old man gave him. On getting to the place, he gave the proprietor the coin. The proprietor screamed, brought out a big book and showed the young graduate a photograph. This same old coin was worth 3 million dollars. The young graduate was overjoyed as the proprietor gave him a bank draft for 3 million dollars within an hour. He collected the Bank Draft and went in search of the old man and little children.

By the time he got to where he left them eating, they had gone. He asked the owner of the canteen if he knew them. He said no but they left a note for you. He quickly opened the note thinking it would lead him to find them.

This is what the note said: 'You gave us your all and we have rewarded you back with the coin,' signed God the Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost. 1 Kings 17:10-16; Matthew 11:28-30

PRAYER:
Here is your financial blessing! It's a simple prayer, you've got 30 seconds. If you need a financial blessing, continue reading this e-mail.

Heavenly Father, most Gracious and Loving God,
I pray to you that you abundantly Bless my family and me. I know that you recognize, that a family is more than just a mother, father, sister, brother husband and wife, but all Who believe and trust in you.

Father, I send up a prayer request for financial blessing for not only the person who sent this to me, but for Me and all that I have forwarded this message on to. And that the power of joined prayer by those who believe and trust in you is more powerful than anything.

I thank you in advance for your blessings.
Father God, deliver the person reading this right now and those who will read it in the near future from debt and debt burdens. Release your Godly wisdom that I may be a good steward over all that You have given me Father, for I know how wonderful and mighty You are and how if we just obey You and walk in Your word and have the faith of a Mustard seed that You will pour out blessings..
I thank You now Lord for the recent blessings I have received and for the blessings yet to come Because I know You are not done with me yet.
In His name, I pray,
Amen

SEND THIS TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND YOU WILL BE BLESSED

Jokes not to be missed

ilure is not when ur girlfriend leaves you...
It's only when u leave her a virgin.
Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: When both r pregnant!
Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!

The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of Sperm when mating. Only 10% enters the female. And you always wondered why the sea tasted Salty?!

Why is it that a girl looks down when u say I love u? To see if u really mean it!

Why is sex similar to shaving?
Well, because no matter how well u do it today,
tomorrow u have to do it again.

Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.

Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-olympic sex .
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 Years.

The stock markets now are like an old man's dick?
Just refusing to rise, and the irony is that everyone is still getting fucked!

This week is Breast Awareness Week. Spread the slogan: We stare because we care!

The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls.
The Lord Almighty sentenced them to: Hang Till Death !

A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in.
He sees a guy leaping out of the window.
Wife yells: That guy just screwed me twice!
Husband: Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once?
Wife: Because I thought it was you, until he started the second time..

What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?
Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.

If a bomb bursts in a bra, what would you get?
Tit-Bits.
And if it bursts in a man's underwear?
Banana split.

What's the diff between a bomb n a condom?
In a bomb blast population decreases & if a condom blasts population increases.