A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was
looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not
far off he asked what she'd like to
have for her birthday.
'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror .
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall
of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was
reeling and her stomach felt upside
down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a
chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy,
M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed
exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being six
again?'
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
'I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!'
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna
get it wrong.
TO Be 6 Again...
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
PACQUIAO Jokes!
Genie: Bibigyan kita ng isang kahilingan.
Aling Dionisia: Talaga?...gusto ko gumanda!
Genie: Buksan mo ang bote.
Aling Dionisia: At gaganda na ako?
Genie: Hindi. Babalik na lang ako.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Pacman: Sabi ng titser ko, bakit daw ang eggplant walang egg?
Aling Dionisia: Sabihon mo sa titser mo, na pag me egg yun, turta na yan, TURTA!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Reporter: Nguang nanalo ka Manny, anong pasalubong mo kay Jinkee?
Manny: Ibon syempre. Mahilig sya dun e.
Reporter: Ibon? Anong klaseng ibon?
Manny: Yung mga lipstek, pangmik up ba? Basta mga Ibon products! Yo know…
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Dionesia: Doc gusto ko magpalagay ng breast.
Doctor (gulat) magpapasexsi ka na?
Dionesia: Breast sa ngipen ba. Paraumayos yun ngepen ko! Deba uso yon?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Pacquiao: Wala, talo ka na kahit anung gawin mo..
Hatton: Pagandahan na lang tayo ng nanay!
Pacquiao: Ah! Wala namang ganyanan. I mean you know…
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Aling Dionisia: Inday, akina nga yung seeds ko.
Inday: Bakit po magtatanim po ba kayo?
Aling Dionisia: Anung magtatanim sinasabi mo? Nasisilaw ang mata ko kaya kailangan ko yung seeds.
---------- ---------- ---------- --------- --------- ----------
Jinky: Manny, kung magkakaanak ulet tayu anu magandang name?
Manny: Hmm. Eh di combine na lang name natin… “MANKY”......
---------- ---------- ---------- --------- ---------- ----------
Aling Dionisia: Gusto ko naman pag
nagka-anak kayo uli ni Jinky, di lang pangalan nyo pagsasamahin. Dapat
kasali din pangalan ko.
Manny: Oo naman nay, kasu midyu mahirap yun.
Aling Dionisia: Hindi ah, may naesep na nga ako eh.
Manny: Talaga 'nay? Anu?
Aling Dionisia: DIOMANJI (dionisia-manny- jinky)
--------- ------- -------- --------- --------- ---------
Pacquiao: Honey, buksan mo na yung sweets.
Jinky : Lambing mo talaga. mwah !! Nasan ang sweets honey?
Pacquiao: Yung sweets ng ilaw. di ako makakita… ang dilim!!
--------- ------- -------- ------- ------- -----------
Si Manny Pacquiao tumakbo sa pagka-Congressman sa GenSan...
Reporter: Manny, anong masasabi mo sa peace and order sa inyong lugar sa .Gen San?
Manny: Ah, yun ba? uhmm...eh... ang masasabi kulang diyan ay....
Reporter: Ano..?
Manny: Ahh, kwan,...maraming Fish sa Gen San pero wala masyado umo-Order .
--------- --------- -------- -------- -------- ----------
Freddie and Manny heart to heart talk
Manny: Pare, ba't naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? Wala ka pa bang napupusuan?
Freddie: Meron. .. Manhid ka lang!
--------- --------- -------- -------- -------- ---------
Noodle!!
Noodle!! Noodle!!
- Manny Pacquiao sa Deal or No Deal
-------- ---------- -------- -------- --------- --------
Sa Las Vegas
Waiter: May i take your order, Madam?
Aling Dionisia: Soup
Waiter: Chicken, asparagus, noodle, fish or soup of the day?
Aling Dionisia: Soup drenks!
--------- ---------- --------- --------- ------- --------
Sa isang Birthday Party
Aling Dionisia: Blue!!! Blue the Kick!!!!
--------- ---------- ------- --------- -------- --------
You is!' 'you is! you is!', sigaw ni Aling Dionisia pagdating sa Amerika..Andito na ako sa 'you is!'
-------- ---------- -------- --------- ------- ----------
Chavit: Manny, paki - acknowledge naman si 1st Gentleman, late dumating.. ayun kadadaan lang sa tabi ng ringside.
Manny: I would like to acknowledge the ARRIVAL OF THE LATE 1st GENTLEMAN WHO JUST PASSED AWAY!!
Aling Dionisia: Talaga?...gusto ko gumanda!
Genie: Buksan mo ang bote.
Aling Dionisia: At gaganda na ako?
Genie: Hindi. Babalik na lang ako.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Pacman: Sabi ng titser ko, bakit daw ang eggplant walang egg?
Aling Dionisia: Sabihon mo sa titser mo, na pag me egg yun, turta na yan, TURTA!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Reporter: Nguang nanalo ka Manny, anong pasalubong mo kay Jinkee?
Manny: Ibon syempre. Mahilig sya dun e.
Reporter: Ibon? Anong klaseng ibon?
Manny: Yung mga lipstek, pangmik up ba? Basta mga Ibon products! Yo know…
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Dionesia: Doc gusto ko magpalagay ng breast.
Doctor (gulat) magpapasexsi ka na?
Dionesia: Breast sa ngipen ba. Paraumayos yun ngepen ko! Deba uso yon?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Pacquiao: Wala, talo ka na kahit anung gawin mo..
Hatton: Pagandahan na lang tayo ng nanay!
Pacquiao: Ah! Wala namang ganyanan. I mean you know…
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Aling Dionisia: Inday, akina nga yung seeds ko.
Inday: Bakit po magtatanim po ba kayo?
Aling Dionisia: Anung magtatanim sinasabi mo? Nasisilaw ang mata ko kaya kailangan ko yung seeds.
---------- ---------- ---------- --------- --------- ----------
Jinky: Manny, kung magkakaanak ulet tayu anu magandang name?
Manny: Hmm. Eh di combine na lang name natin… “MANKY”......
---------- ---------- ---------- --------- ---------- ----------
Aling Dionisia: Gusto ko naman pag
nagka-anak kayo uli ni Jinky, di lang pangalan nyo pagsasamahin. Dapat
kasali din pangalan ko.
Manny: Oo naman nay, kasu midyu mahirap yun.
Aling Dionisia: Hindi ah, may naesep na nga ako eh.
Manny: Talaga 'nay? Anu?
Aling Dionisia: DIOMANJI (dionisia-manny- jinky)
--------- ------- -------- --------- --------- ---------
Pacquiao: Honey, buksan mo na yung sweets.
Jinky : Lambing mo talaga. mwah !! Nasan ang sweets honey?
Pacquiao: Yung sweets ng ilaw. di ako makakita… ang dilim!!
--------- ------- -------- ------- ------- -----------
Si Manny Pacquiao tumakbo sa pagka-Congressman sa GenSan...
Reporter: Manny, anong masasabi mo sa peace and order sa inyong lugar sa .Gen San?
Manny: Ah, yun ba? uhmm...eh... ang masasabi kulang diyan ay....
Reporter: Ano..?
Manny: Ahh, kwan,...maraming Fish sa Gen San pero wala masyado umo-Order .
--------- --------- -------- -------- -------- ----------
Freddie and Manny heart to heart talk
Manny: Pare, ba't naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? Wala ka pa bang napupusuan?
Freddie: Meron. .. Manhid ka lang!
--------- --------- -------- -------- -------- ---------
Noodle!!
Noodle!! Noodle!!
- Manny Pacquiao sa Deal or No Deal
-------- ---------- -------- -------- --------- --------
Sa Las Vegas
Waiter: May i take your order, Madam?
Aling Dionisia: Soup
Waiter: Chicken, asparagus, noodle, fish or soup of the day?
Aling Dionisia: Soup drenks!
--------- ---------- --------- --------- ------- --------
Sa isang Birthday Party
Aling Dionisia: Blue!!! Blue the Kick!!!!
--------- ---------- ------- --------- -------- --------
You is!' 'you is! you is!', sigaw ni Aling Dionisia pagdating sa Amerika..Andito na ako sa 'you is!'
-------- ---------- -------- --------- ------- ----------
Chavit: Manny, paki - acknowledge naman si 1st Gentleman, late dumating.. ayun kadadaan lang sa tabi ng ringside.
Manny: I would like to acknowledge the ARRIVAL OF THE LATE 1st GENTLEMAN WHO JUST PASSED AWAY!!
Read more...
Labels:
Celebrity Jokes,
Email Jokes,
Pinoy Jokes
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